Up and down

I was all great at blogging, and now I’m kind of being a slacker, mostly because I’m not sure what to blog about (which I suppose isn’t terrible). I promise one blog post a week, at the very least.

I made that post about fair-weather-faith and forgot to mention that I’m very guilty of doing that. Not so much a belief in God, really. I always believe in God, no matter how I’m going about doing that. I am, however, terrible about questioning my decisions when I am not feeling so great, or am emotionally run down. I know that one of the goals of a “good” Hindu is not to be indecisive, and this is something that I’m wrestling with (anyone who has ever had to wait for me to order food at a restaurant I really like can attest to that). It’s especially hard when I’m feeling insecure, because then I start to question the “rightness” of the decisions I have made.

Last week I was feeling great about my decisions. I was all gung-ho about stuff. This week I’m not so gung-ho. On the other hand, I’ve come to some realizations. (1) The face of my God is a Hindu face, shared between Rama and Shiva (and sometimes Lakshmi, Durga or Saraswati). (2) I had been stressing about future children, and whether or not I was making a good decision for them. I have now decided that trying to figure that out now, years away from those children actually existing, is madness. That was a good decision.

I think the solution to all of these problems is for me to start paring back the things I’m involved in, because there are so many that I don’t have room to think. I feel much better when I have a little time to reflect and meditate, so I need to make some time for that.

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About HappyGoth

By day, I'm a graphic designer. By night, I'm a knitter. I'm doing my part to keep Hotlanta stylish. I imagine that if you don't already understand the title of the blog, you're probably confused and perhaps slightly annoyed, but never fear - I do have a reason (and it's a good one). Having gone to hear Stephanie Pearl McPhee, and then having been inspired to blog about knitting, I found myself wondering what to call the blog. I recalled a conversation I had with Mouse and the Chicken Goddess about why it is a Bad Idea to anger knitters - this conversation was following SPM, aka the Yarn Harlot telling the assembled throng about Those Who Do Not Understand Knitting and Therefore Belittle It Much to the Chagrin of Others, or TWDNUKTBMCO, which is not the acronym she used but is the one I'm using because I forgot hers - that is, we are numerous and we all have very pointy sticks, easily transforming into an angry mob. Therefore, knitters = angry mob.
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6 Responses to Up and down

  1. Kristin Brænne says:

    Be a ★ !

  2. Simplifying your life by eliminating activities and involvements is a great decision from my point of view. Check out what Sri Easwaran has to say about it in regards to his Eight Point Program. Slowing down is point number three.

    http://www.easwaran.org/passage-meditation.html

    And don’t stress about blogging. Tandava recommended to me the idea of Blogging Without Obligation and it’s worked well for me. We’ll still be reading when you get back to us.

    • HappyGoth says:

      🙂 I get a little egotistical about blog stats. I’m learning to let go of that. (The whole ego is the point, though, right! Small steps!)

      I have been drawn back to Easwaran many many times (his translations of the Upanishads and the Gita are my favorites). Perhaps now is a good time to look into passage meditation. Funny how that works!

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