Oops. I do have a blog, don’t I?
Life has been busy. I have actually been much more diligent in my home spiritual practice lately, but not at all diligent in the blog. Honestly, the blog becomes a creative outlet when I need one and work has been very busy lately, so I haven’t been blogging.
I did think about going to the temple this weekend (more than usual). I hope this means I’m getting closer to being comfortable with going (even by myself). I had made up my mind to go to the local Hare Krishna temple, but was caught in a sudden and rather torrential rainstorm and went home instead after a long and quite stressful car ride. I joked with my husband that it appears that I’m not yet ready to visit that particular temple; I’ve made plans to do so twice and both times was wholly unsuccessful (the first time was with a friend, and the temple was closed for an undisclosed amount of time). Perhaps I will try going for Janmashtami (seems appropriate, no?).
Part of the struggle I think I’m having is that while I feel somewhat comfortable praying to any form of God, I really feel the strongest connection to Rama, and am not close to a temple that houses his murti (aside from the BAPS mandir, but I feel bad praying only to Rama and not to Sri Swaminarayan). When I think about it, it seems silly. Why should a little detail like that matter? But I think it’s also about that relationship. If I feel comfortable talking to a certain person about something, then I won’t be as ready to talk to someone else. I just don’t have the same relationship with everybody. I’m working on cultivating new relationships. It’s a long process, though.
Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe not. For the time being I’m mostly content to pray at home, and will venture out to a temple when the time is right.