I had another strange dream last night about meeting a guru. I woke up with a peaceful feeling, which was a nice side effect. In the dream, he told me “you will be fine. You will be a great sannyasi.” I have no idea where my brain dredged that word up from, but obviously I’m retaining some of what I’m learning somewhere (I do know what a sannyasi is, but I don’t think I could’ve recalled that word if asked while conscious without looking it up). It’s funny how it all manifests itself. Also obviously (or maybe not), I don’t anticipate actually doing that (at least not in this lifetime), but bizarre dream reassurances are occasionally welcome.
Of course, just after that the guru brought me the most massive chocolate filled maple glazed donut ever seen (seriously, it was the size of my head), so I’m taking this for its calming effect and not for any signs of future progress.
I am kind of hungry for a donut.
Well, anyway, this is more of a segue into sharing a general feeling of peace I’ve had lately, as Navratri comes closer. As with the dream, I don’t associate that peace with the holiday specifically, but I do appreciate a new-ish knowledge that I’m okay, no matter who approves of my choices (or doesn’t approve).
This post also (generally) marks the point at which I decided to follow Sanatana Dharma, and move on from what I’d been raised with. I had a friend who was going to be given a sort of honor in a group I participate in, and she appreciates ritual, so I thought that she’d be the best person to test my newfound faith on. I bought some puja items, found a prayer to Vishnu (I forget which one), and in a bumbling, inexpert way did my best to ask for his blessings on her new journey. It was awkward, but kind of beautiful. Actually, that sums up this entire year for me, and is what keeps me moving forward on this path. It may be awkward initially, but the beauty and wisdom is worth that initial discomfort.
Here’s to the next year (and all the festivals ahead)!