Yesterday I was frustrated with myself because I have been a total and complete slacker in both my sadhana and all other aspects of my practice, except for japa, which I find to be the most convenient thing to do. It travels with you! It requires little preparation, aside from the mental! It is a fairly simple means to mental and spiritual quietude! And on top of that, I think it’s one of the simplest ways to honor God, by chanting his name over and over and over again.
Which is all to say that I have been a slacker, and it was bothering me.
Another thing that bothered me was a feeling of disquiet. I didn’t have a real reason for my unease, since I have all that I need, including a creatively fulfilling job, a lovely husband, and pretty much all the other things that make for a satisfied life, except, it would seem, for a thing that gave me purpose.
And so today came, and it was sunny and the weather was so nice, and then for lunch I met up with a woman who has a company that uses saris and makes things out of them for people’s homes. The people who make these things are women who are refugees. This company gives them a trade, lets them make their own money, and teaches them skills. It gives them a purpose and some grounding in their lives. And now I’ll be working with them.
So I think maybe I was just waiting? And Rama, I probably should have trusted you more and known that you were waiting to show this to me at the right moment. You know my path before I see it, and that it might not look like I imagine, but it will take me just where I need to go.
(Oh, that’s the way. I never would have guessed!)
Armed with a feeling of purpose and not a small amount of joy about the whole business, I went back to work today and managed to distribute the entirety of my takeout food to homeless folk along the way.
It sounds cheesy, but today I am full of love for the universe. Jai Sri Ram!