Mysterious, but spot-on.

Yesterday I was frustrated with myself because I have been a total and complete slacker in both my sadhana and all other aspects of my practice, except for japa, which I find to be the most convenient thing to do. It travels with you! It requires little preparation, aside from the mental! It is a fairly simple means to mental and spiritual quietude! And on top of that, I think it’s one of the simplest ways to honor God, by chanting his name over and over and over again.

Which is all to say that I have been a slacker, and it was bothering me.

Another thing that bothered me was a feeling of disquiet. I didn’t have a real reason for my unease, since I have all that I need, including a creatively fulfilling job, a lovely husband, and pretty much all the other things that make for a satisfied life, except, it would seem, for a thing that gave me purpose.

And so today came, and it was sunny and the weather was so nice, and then for lunch I met up with a woman who has a company that uses saris and makes things out of them for people’s homes. The people who make these things are women who are refugees. This company gives them a trade, lets them make their own money, and teaches them skills. It gives them a purpose and some grounding in their lives. And now I’ll be working with them.

So I think maybe I was just waiting? And Rama, I probably should have trusted you more and known that you were waiting to show this to me at the right moment. You know my path before I see it, and that it might not look like I imagine, but it will take me just where I need to go.

(Oh, that’s the way. I never would have guessed!)

Armed with a feeling of purpose and not a small amount of joy about the whole business, I went back to work today and managed to distribute the entirety of my takeout food to homeless folk along the way.

It sounds cheesy, but today I am full of love for the universe. Jai Sri Ram!



About HappyGoth

By day, I'm a graphic designer. By night, I'm a knitter. I'm doing my part to keep Hotlanta stylish. I imagine that if you don't already understand the title of the blog, you're probably confused and perhaps slightly annoyed, but never fear - I do have a reason (and it's a good one). Having gone to hear Stephanie Pearl McPhee, and then having been inspired to blog about knitting, I found myself wondering what to call the blog. I recalled a conversation I had with Mouse and the Chicken Goddess about why it is a Bad Idea to anger knitters - this conversation was following SPM, aka the Yarn Harlot telling the assembled throng about Those Who Do Not Understand Knitting and Therefore Belittle It Much to the Chagrin of Others, or TWDNUKTBMCO, which is not the acronym she used but is the one I'm using because I forgot hers - that is, we are numerous and we all have very pointy sticks, easily transforming into an angry mob. Therefore, knitters = angry mob.
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4 Responses to Mysterious, but spot-on.

  1. Ambaa says:

    Yay! I love when the universe gives you something new and awesome to do.

  2. surya says:

    Hello HG,
    distributing your food to others is a wonderful act, it is called ‘anna dana’ in sanskrutam. Fasting or upavasa is very rewarding spiritually and many devout hindus practice it, some fast one day a week and some others for certain festivals etc. But those who are engaged in work may just eat fruits all day. Water drinking is permissible.
    You talked about refugees, are they Bhutanese hindus by any chance? I heard that southern Baptist predators have been converting these poor and gullible hindu refugees promising them a quick entry to paradise. In case you find out they are hindus, please do tell them not to fall prey to this ongoing scheme.
    It is common that an element of emptiness creeps in time to time, a self inquiry with ‘who am I’ and ‘what is this (sristi or creation)’ questions rattle our subconscious , then in those times, we have to remind ourselves that this is maya (illusion) and we, meaning atma, are inseparable from Brahman and this play or lila has to be experienced, without an escape or alternative. We are the ‘seen’ and Brahman is the ‘seer’, not vice versa.-surya

    • HappyGoth says:

      I do fast when I can! Along with japa, it’s another of those things that’s really manageable with my busy schedule. Usually I will eat fruits only, since I have found that one needs practice to fast completely, and a headache at work isn’t so great. Thanks for the encouragement!

      The refugees are Afghan, and I don’t know which faith they follow. Probably Islam, but I didn’t ask. It’s sad to hear about the Bhutanese, though. If I find that this is the case with these ladies, I will certainly say something!

      I am generally pretty restless, and that’s why I think I’m drawn to sanatana dharma. Of all paths, it’s the one that quiets that restlessness best. I’m slowly learning to live in the moment, without trying to control or understand it, but it’s been a long, slow journey.

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